DEAR KID IN THE WOMB

Dear Kid in the Womb,
I have one first order for you:
You must resemble me!

The one who carries you – your mother, my woman
Yes, she’s fairer than the best Middle Eastern maidens
But I clean up nicely myself.

Dear Kid in the Womb,
Male, female or otherwise,
Listen to this – this genesis of a deluge to come.

Dear Kid in the Womb,
I kicked a mean shot in the merry days of youth
Listen: mummy, tummy, kick away!

That way, Dear Kid in the Womb,
Mummy shall know she carries a champion,
Baller, Pennist, Mic-ist  – just kick away!

Dear Kid in the Womb,
Your mummy hasn’t ever done this,
And I shudder to see her suffer – all that grunting!

I don’t know how, Dear Kid in the Womb,
But – your head – it has a vital role:
No big heads, no coming feet first.

Dear Kid in the Womb,
Hope this snippet doesn’t hasten coming,
We’ve made the grandest preparations

Cot, made from the softest wool,
Room; décor in the most delightful pink,
Changeable at the clench of a chubby little finger

You cannot be a girly boy, Dear Kid in the Womb,
No pinks for you if it turns out
there’ll be a dangle between your legs – yellow then.

Dear Kid in the womb,
Mummy and I detest Terry G and endure Wizkid’s whining,
Your tastes may be eclectic but they must be polished!

Even if you can’t see it, Dear Kid in the Womb, it’s no Iron Bird
It’s an airplane; some of the miracles Man has wrought,
You weren’t born in the village like my father; why do I even bother?

Dear Kid in the Womb, your first biology lesson:
Egg and sperm begat the zygote, which begat the embryo
Which begat the foetus, which became you.

Dear Kid in the Womb,
That last bit was only just
general information.

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