THE NIGERIAN NATIONAL ANTHEM

May we please rise for an entirely notional anthem

Arise O compatriots
Abuja’s call quick heed
To serve up Fatherland
On gilded, broidered ware
The labours of what heroes past
Shall never yum yum yum (erm, where were we?)
(Aha) To serve in chunky parts
One nation bound in the icing
Of greed and corruption.

O God of Creation
What laughs you yonder catch (golly!)
As leaders daily swerve left
And our youth truth daily skirt
In strife dishonesty we grow
As curious Button does
And daily depths we gain
As we sink a nation dai-
Ly impunity reigns.

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